I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!

I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!

Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!

I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.